Mrs. Pammi's Escort Service

Mr D. S Sinha had never tried anything out of the ordinary in his life that could certify as bold and would have probably never tried anything out of the ordinary in his life, except that opportunity presented itself to him in the strangest manner.

He had a desk job but strangely one fine day he was assigned by his superior to visit a peripheral town somewhere in Punjab to settle a few details for a new branch of their company.

He was always accompanied by his wife wherever he went, but strangely, this time she excused herself citing the vaguest of reasons.

He was a well traveled man who had family, friends and acquaintances all over the country but strangely the town he was directed to visit was off his network radar and he was blissfully friendless and foe-less for three glorious days – a dream come true for every married man.

He was supposed to contact a man from their company, but strangely the contact was delayed for three more days and Mr Sinha had nothing better to do but cool his heels at company’s expense for three whole days.

And that was when in a strange manner he came across a half torn tattered paper inside the most remote recess of a cupboard in the hotel, on which was scribbled- Mrs Pammi , Escort services and a phone number .  

Three days of having nothing to do and no one to talk to certainly warrants a desire for company. Mr. D S Sinha could not curb this desire in its entirety in spite of being a very meek and docile person by nature. Again, being a nameless entity in that not so big –not so small town, presented to him a perfect opportunity to try out Mrs Pammi’s escorts services, probably for the first and last time in his life. Well, at least that was what he promised himself. “Just once “ he kept muttering to himself as he dialed her number with shaky hands.

“Mrs Pammi here”, spoke a sweet cultured voice that expressed in bold just two words – convent educated…ironically.

Mr D fumbled and mumbled but somehow managed to express his desire for her company for the evening.

“And what is the occasion , may I know Sir?”

He was taken further aback at that, but at the last moment had a brain wave and said “Dinner…in the restaurant …” he added after a thought.

There was a slight pause at the other end of the line before she said “very well Sir. Let me just take you through the charges …” and she went on to quote an amount which was far below what he was expecting to hear. No wonder it came as a pleasant surprise to him.

The surprise went on to be pleasanter when he saw Mrs Pammi as a beautiful smiling lady seated at the decided restaurant at the anointed time. His fortunes were indeed smiling he felt.

Dinner went on smoothly as they made small talk – mostly about Mr D , as her pretty heady smile made him feel quite intoxicated and he babbled a little too much , much more than he usually did. He spoke about his work, his family and that was when he wondered where the evening might be leading to. Will she be taking him back to her place or will he have to rent a room somewhere- maybe that was the reason why the charges were low. Or what if she left after dinner abruptly which was a probability he realised, because they hadn’t exactly talked things over.

H stole a glance towards her and felt a bit nervous, but he had to take matters to the next level.

“So , what do you plan next?” he asked trying to appear nonchalant.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean what after dinner?”

“Well…Sir, I presume we will depart for our respective places of lodging.”

“And what if I want you to continue your time… I mean stay back?”

“Excuse me?” She asked a bit shocked. “Are you asking me to stay…with you …in your place?”

He appeared flustered- B… But you do stay … I mean you must have stayed back at times. No?”

“Oh no Sir…Oh no! Oh dear! I get it now…silly me I should have asked you earlier, but how did you get my number? I had presumed that one of my previous clients had given you my name…”

He explained painfully and bashfully a bit how he had come across her name and why he had presumed whatever he had presumed.

“I agree I escort…well actually yes, I just escort.”

He had transformed to his previous dumb form by then and appeared totally confused even as she tried to explain.

“Sigh! I guess I need to explain in details. .Erm… you see I am one of the few females…rather persons you can say, who are what they say educated out here in this town . Educated in the sense, that I don’t , pardon my rudeness , but I don’t piss on my pants the moment I have to speak to some blue collared person about matters grave or otherwise.

 It all started when I used to be bombarded by female acquaintances to accompany them everywhere – from the loo at public places to visiting a clinic for a spectacle fitting, opening an account in banks, shopping for trousseau to visiting prospective in laws to even paying the electricity bills…oh no don’t think they were illiterate, they had fancy degrees- some of them indeed had better than mine, but yes they lacked the confidence. Hence all I used to do after my post degrees was accompany – escort Aunties, and didis and Tais and …who nots. Things came to such a passé that people started coming to me for even request to make calls to their office bosses to call in sick, talk to customer representatives, repair executives on their behalf or even order sunglasses for them from the internet. It seems as if I had opened a help counter and was busy doing silly errands, which needed a physical presence and a moral support. It left me no time to do anything else and that is when I decided to go pro. So now I escort people anywhere they say for a charge…as long as it is respectable. You want me to accompany to the loo, fine! It comes with a charge of Rs 5 per visit.

“Now...now you are exaggerating. Certainly no one aged more than five needs to be accompanied to the loo”

“Oh you don’t know women then. They can never go unaccompanied to the loo. Man! it is a well known joke that women always go to the loo in twos and threes. In fact, I feel that women will be truly empowered only the day they gather enough courage to go to the toilet alone. Period” she ended smugly

He sniffed the coke surreptitiously. Was there anything mixed in it?

So how come you are with a man?

“Ah! man! They are no different from ladies at times other than the loo thing of course. They would gladly get someone do their work where interaction comes into play. No doubt they will never ask you to escort them for shopping, but they seem to look for solidarity of sorts as far as the question of going for a blood test, filing your income tax return, to even exercising one's vote arises. Well humans are social beings I understand, but this sort of dependency …beats me. So when your call came in I thought you might be one of them who are not man enough to even walk into a restaurant alone!”

Mr. Sinha shook his head incredulously at the turn of events. What was promising itself to be a romantic evening was fast turning out to be like a bizarre movie whose script goes awry towards the end

“I cannot believe people actually pay you for that.”

No, no they certainly did have no intention of paying initially but I stood my ground. No pay, No company. So ultimately they gave in.

“ Yeah…how long could they hold themselves before urinating.”

And both of them broke into a crazy laughter, the first in the evening. It was also the first time in the evening Mr DS sinha felt lighter, unburdened from the invisible shackles of guilt that bound him.

So that was that… Mr D S Sinha still is short of doing something joyously forbidden. But Mr. Sinha had a lifetime of a crazy encounter with a crazier escort that anyone could imagine.