Did I tell you I was a qualified doctor? Alright a correction ! Did I tell you that I am a certified doctor, whether I am qualified or not however remains to be seen or not to be seen as the case maybe. So whenever it slips out that I am a medic or whenever I try to act as one, it is but natural to invite some queries by laymen, acquaintances etc etc about their ailments, real or imaginary and ask for medical advice which they have no intention ever to follow. Why? Because a free advice is never to be taken , only asked for.
However this is not about my laments or rants.
Actually I was trying to share a strange conversation I had with a random stranger which started when it slipped out that I was a medic. The conversation was an eye opener in itself and showed an aspect that we tend to overlook in our bid to fit the bill in everything and every place.
Here is the reproduction of the conversation ...somewhat!
"So you are a doctor? You don't look like one you know...I mean you seem so hip and dynamic.."
(So great! who told you my Lady , that doctors are slow, sloth and sloppy? )
I just smiled ..er..politely ..well almost politely.
"So what's your specialty?"
I squirmed uneasily at that . Any one without an MS or MD always squirms at that.
"I am a GP"
"Ah..!" she nodded slowly and kept nodding for sometime. Loose screw,I pondered. Hope the head doesn't fall off.
Any way I was just waiting for her to..
"Listen can you advise me on a psychological issue? "
There! She said it ! I was just waiting for that. Surprisingly my lack of a post graduation degree never deterred anyone to consult me for free. Not that I need it , want however I may...The Govt. is paying me fine.
I looked at her hopeful smile and smiled a 'Sure' at her.
"Er.. this is about an addiction and social media.." she said hesitatingly "how do I say it? "
" Say no more! " I warmed up to the discussion immediately as I heard my favorite words 'social media'
"Who is it ?"
"Son..." A pall of gloom hung over her when she said that.
"I know today's kid. They are so addicted to facebook and twitter and all.. Its just so.."
"No , no no, you are getting me wrong..My son isn't addicted to social media .."
"Then.? Who? wait...its you who are addicted and son says no?"
"Sigh! its not like that exactly.I am not addicted ..I keep in touch but...I know you will find it strange but my son...he ..he finds it repulsive! Can you imagine?.. Repulsive!!"
I paused. She paused too."
"Errr isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" I asked
"No you don't get it. He finds social media repulsive ..He just can't tolerate it... He hates it.. I mean in today's age ,who stays away from it consciously.. Is that even normal?"
I opened my mouth to soothe the hysterical female , but shut my mouth again. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening .
"No facebook..Let alone twitter.. Not even watsapp, google plus ! whats with this boy?" she mumbled clearly perplexed
"Er.. you know.. "I ventured timidly ".. many women would love to be in your shoes you see. You are lucky he shuns the social media rather than being addicted to it."
"You are not getting my point. Who is talking about addiction , but in today's hi tech age , why this apathy? Isn't this some form of antisocial behaviour? Some psychological disorder? Please...please try to see my point..I am so worried.. Please..help me." She let out a sob
"
Whoa! Whoa! please wait...ok,ok lets discus this systematically... So is he kind of a shy guy? Loner?"
"No. He is a well behaved boy. He has friends...He is smart, active ..."
"Ok ..is he slow with gadgets and you know...computers and stuff?" I tried again.
"NO !" she said indignantly. "He is good in his studies and not daft if you are thinking so and who told you he doesn't use the net . Oh he uses it for information very well. Its just social media and network he shuns. Beats me why though"
"So you mean to say he never had any accounts in fb , orkut or anything?"
"Yeaaah! That's what I am saying ! When all his peers were exchanging notes and pics over the net , he just stayed away from it.Peculiar , isn't it" .
"So how does he spend his time? Maybe he is just too busy to use it or feel the need for a social network."
"Nooo. He works, plays,visits friends and relatives watches TV even, reads book but I dunno why he never ever tried to catch up with his friends and family over the net."
"Maybe he is not vocal enough.."
"Vocal ? what are you saying? He is the school debating champion!"
"Maybe he is not nosey. May be he just isn't interested. Maybe he just is so connected to his real life that he has no time for virtual life.." I rattled off the possibilities.
"I know! I know you are one of those who believe in the harmful effects of facebook and all ..Reality versus the virtual world theory etc etc but why don't you see this way? What kind of a person would that be who isn't interested in seeing where his friends have vacationed? What is wrong in being interested to know how Maasi celebrated her daughter's birthday? What kind of a guy is he who isn't interested in viewing the latest videos shared in youtube? Every body likes to track down their old classmates or friends, has this inherent urge to trace back their roots, why does this guy show no such interest?" She paused for a moment only to continue again.
"Every body has this urge sometime or other in participating in exchanges on the latest socio political scenario, now why would an intelligent top debater refrain from that religiously?"
I was seriously wondering who the addict might be when she looked into my eyes and immediately caught on to what I was thinking.
"I know what you are thinking... I very well know..Don't worry I just have a facebook account , and that too I used it very sparingly... But just answer me this thing....Do you think opening a social network account is bad"
"No , of course not..."
"Is it very uncommon to have an account of that sort?"
"No, that's the norm unless of course you are semi literate or very very ancient citizen from a remote place..."
"Yes, precisely . Its the norm right...So doesn't that make him abnormal? Shouldn't I consider for a psychiatrist?"
"Maybe he finds it shallow" I shrugged.
" Oh please don't tell me how 'deep' twenty years old are. They with their brands and bike fixation...and funs and parties. He is a normal twenty year old except that I can't understand why a well informed and intelligent twenty year old boy like him would not have an account nor appear interested in creating one?"
"Well I will say that he is a very responsible young man...and that he is sensible".
"Yes...maybe ...but don't you think that might be a bit abnormal for him? You see.. we tend to get worried after a period of time if our kids do not show a leaning towards the opposite sex... Why? Because sex is a normal response. Sex is natural after puberty... We get worried if our kids turn out to be reclusive...So is the case with social media. Why would a normal , full blooded and full brained young man of twenty shun the social media which is like a parallel fully functional universe in today's time?...Wait!Oh my God! could it be he is gay"
"Come on Ma'm, what does homosexuality have to do with it?" I asked incredulously.
"Well if he has no leanings towards facebook then clearly he must not be liking girls either".
"No mam rest assured , even gays have facebook account."
"Precisely! Exactly! See my point? Then how weird my boy must be! "...And again a large tear rolled down.
"Maybe his friend circle are not into it.." I gave one last desperate shot at it.
"Oh no! his friends and relatives...even us - we have coaxed ,invited and even ridiculed him to join in the network , but he simply refuses to be drawn in. Gives no reason but yes , he won't be in..He doesn't seem depressed . He is a cheerful boy;good in whatever he does , enthusiastic, loves fun, music everything ...but nyah , you will not find him in any social network...Could it could it possibly because he is into criminal activities? Serial killer? Spy? Alien! Oh dear God I am so worried I could die. I just hope some one could help me."
I just watched her dumbfounded. Was I talking to a lunatic ...or was it some very farsighted radical thinking lady who in fact had a point...
I googled for the exact meaning of 'Abnormal' furtively and this was what it was in the net -
"deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying".
She had a point . He deviated from what was usual. It caused worry to his mother and friends. Hence it was abnormal... But did I dare say it to her...?
However this is not about my laments or rants.
Actually I was trying to share a strange conversation I had with a random stranger which started when it slipped out that I was a medic. The conversation was an eye opener in itself and showed an aspect that we tend to overlook in our bid to fit the bill in everything and every place.
Here is the reproduction of the conversation ...somewhat!
"So you are a doctor? You don't look like one you know...I mean you seem so hip and dynamic.."
(So great! who told you my Lady , that doctors are slow, sloth and sloppy? )
I just smiled ..er..politely ..well almost politely.
"So what's your specialty?"
I squirmed uneasily at that . Any one without an MS or MD always squirms at that.
"I am a GP"
"Ah..!" she nodded slowly and kept nodding for sometime. Loose screw,I pondered. Hope the head doesn't fall off.
Any way I was just waiting for her to..
"Listen can you advise me on a psychological issue? "
There! She said it ! I was just waiting for that. Surprisingly my lack of a post graduation degree never deterred anyone to consult me for free. Not that I need it , want however I may...The Govt. is paying me fine.
I looked at her hopeful smile and smiled a 'Sure' at her.
"Er.. this is about an addiction and social media.." she said hesitatingly "how do I say it? "
" Say no more! " I warmed up to the discussion immediately as I heard my favorite words 'social media'
"Who is it ?"
"Son..." A pall of gloom hung over her when she said that.
"I know today's kid. They are so addicted to facebook and twitter and all.. Its just so.."
"No , no no, you are getting me wrong..My son isn't addicted to social media .."
"Then.? Who? wait...its you who are addicted and son says no?"
"Sigh! its not like that exactly.I am not addicted ..I keep in touch but...I know you will find it strange but my son...he ..he finds it repulsive! Can you imagine?.. Repulsive!!"
I paused. She paused too."
"Errr isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" I asked
"No you don't get it. He finds social media repulsive ..He just can't tolerate it... He hates it.. I mean in today's age ,who stays away from it consciously.. Is that even normal?"
I opened my mouth to soothe the hysterical female , but shut my mouth again. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening .
"No facebook..Let alone twitter.. Not even watsapp, google plus ! whats with this boy?" she mumbled clearly perplexed
"Er.. you know.. "I ventured timidly ".. many women would love to be in your shoes you see. You are lucky he shuns the social media rather than being addicted to it."
"You are not getting my point. Who is talking about addiction , but in today's hi tech age , why this apathy? Isn't this some form of antisocial behaviour? Some psychological disorder? Please...please try to see my point..I am so worried.. Please..help me." She let out a sob
"
Whoa! Whoa! please wait...ok,ok lets discus this systematically... So is he kind of a shy guy? Loner?"
"No. He is a well behaved boy. He has friends...He is smart, active ..."
"Ok ..is he slow with gadgets and you know...computers and stuff?" I tried again.
"NO !" she said indignantly. "He is good in his studies and not daft if you are thinking so and who told you he doesn't use the net . Oh he uses it for information very well. Its just social media and network he shuns. Beats me why though"
"So you mean to say he never had any accounts in fb , orkut or anything?"
"Yeaaah! That's what I am saying ! When all his peers were exchanging notes and pics over the net , he just stayed away from it.Peculiar , isn't it" .
"So how does he spend his time? Maybe he is just too busy to use it or feel the need for a social network."
"Nooo. He works, plays,visits friends and relatives watches TV even, reads book but I dunno why he never ever tried to catch up with his friends and family over the net."
"Maybe he is not vocal enough.."
"Vocal ? what are you saying? He is the school debating champion!"
"Maybe he is not nosey. May be he just isn't interested. Maybe he just is so connected to his real life that he has no time for virtual life.." I rattled off the possibilities.
"I know! I know you are one of those who believe in the harmful effects of facebook and all ..Reality versus the virtual world theory etc etc but why don't you see this way? What kind of a person would that be who isn't interested in seeing where his friends have vacationed? What is wrong in being interested to know how Maasi celebrated her daughter's birthday? What kind of a guy is he who isn't interested in viewing the latest videos shared in youtube? Every body likes to track down their old classmates or friends, has this inherent urge to trace back their roots, why does this guy show no such interest?" She paused for a moment only to continue again.
"Every body has this urge sometime or other in participating in exchanges on the latest socio political scenario, now why would an intelligent top debater refrain from that religiously?"
I was seriously wondering who the addict might be when she looked into my eyes and immediately caught on to what I was thinking.
"I know what you are thinking... I very well know..Don't worry I just have a facebook account , and that too I used it very sparingly... But just answer me this thing....Do you think opening a social network account is bad"
"No , of course not..."
"Is it very uncommon to have an account of that sort?"
"No, that's the norm unless of course you are semi literate or very very ancient citizen from a remote place..."
"Yes, precisely . Its the norm right...So doesn't that make him abnormal? Shouldn't I consider for a psychiatrist?"
"Maybe he finds it shallow" I shrugged.
" Oh please don't tell me how 'deep' twenty years old are. They with their brands and bike fixation...and funs and parties. He is a normal twenty year old except that I can't understand why a well informed and intelligent twenty year old boy like him would not have an account nor appear interested in creating one?"
"Well I will say that he is a very responsible young man...and that he is sensible".
"Yes...maybe ...but don't you think that might be a bit abnormal for him? You see.. we tend to get worried after a period of time if our kids do not show a leaning towards the opposite sex... Why? Because sex is a normal response. Sex is natural after puberty... We get worried if our kids turn out to be reclusive...So is the case with social media. Why would a normal , full blooded and full brained young man of twenty shun the social media which is like a parallel fully functional universe in today's time?...Wait!Oh my God! could it be he is gay"
"Come on Ma'm, what does homosexuality have to do with it?" I asked incredulously.
"Well if he has no leanings towards facebook then clearly he must not be liking girls either".
"No mam rest assured , even gays have facebook account."
"Precisely! Exactly! See my point? Then how weird my boy must be! "...And again a large tear rolled down.
"Maybe his friend circle are not into it.." I gave one last desperate shot at it.
"Oh no! his friends and relatives...even us - we have coaxed ,invited and even ridiculed him to join in the network , but he simply refuses to be drawn in. Gives no reason but yes , he won't be in..He doesn't seem depressed . He is a cheerful boy;good in whatever he does , enthusiastic, loves fun, music everything ...but nyah , you will not find him in any social network...Could it could it possibly because he is into criminal activities? Serial killer? Spy? Alien! Oh dear God I am so worried I could die. I just hope some one could help me."
I just watched her dumbfounded. Was I talking to a lunatic ...or was it some very farsighted radical thinking lady who in fact had a point...
I googled for the exact meaning of 'Abnormal' furtively and this was what it was in the net -
"deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying".
She had a point . He deviated from what was usual. It caused worry to his mother and friends. Hence it was abnormal... But did I dare say it to her...?
The last three decades of materialism has resulted in a very strange society. When people choose to downsize, simplify their lives, or opt out of traditional economic systems, they are considered a deviation from the norm. I work with a lot of young people and it is sometimes scary to listen to their milestones. And not all of it is self-taught. When parents put a premium on earning, consumption, and public display of affluence, it is only natural that the kids will learn the same. Social media is a powerful tool for change, yet it is used more for marketing lifestyles and attitudes than for real growth. Enjoyed the post. Please keep writing.
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